Mindgames

We are who we are by whom we choose to imitate, or imitation leads to identity

2010-08-12T12:46:00.005+02:00

The recent news in science is the dethronement of the gene. Whoever wanted to have his genome decoded can spare his money. Apparently our genes aren't graved in marble, they are more like Lego- proteins can log on and modify activation. Wonder what Darwin would make of this.
The bad news is that this makes us much more responsible of who we are- the food we eat, the environment we live in, the challenges of life- all will take its toll. (For holistic medicine, this isn't news)
So far for the physical part.
Intelligence too, it seems, can be shaped by education ( so far for liberalist ideas of leaving markets and societies to themselves and that the best will win..) Or, let's say, the way you deal with your intelligence. Whoever took an intelligence test must have realized that most of them are pretty mathematic, and that anybody trained in similar exercises will have better results (and I'm not even talking about the problem of language and instruction, different logics etc.)
So we can train to think. But what do we want to train at? For most of us our world today isn't shaped by the question of accessibility to information, but by the value we attach to that information and by the time and money we are willing to invest to digest this information. This is a large quantum leap from last generations who still had to take information in the moment they were confronted with it.
Actually, this choice has always been valid. Intellectual information might have been scarce in former centuries, but environment information was always too abundant to be completely decoded. Humans are the species that has the most choice as to what information shapes its thinking.
Contrary to most animals, babies are born unable to cope alone and they stay this way for a long time. Their capacity and desire to learn is proportionate to their dependency. ( interesting question: does dependency condition learning targets?). And their primary focus for learning is the person who is vital, the feeder and carer. With growing independence they look around and take in their environment- but here too they are influenced by the caretaker: The people who have physical power over a baby have also the power over the environment it is exposed to.
And the baby learns by imitation, it chooses to imitate the caretaker and thus its world is defined by the caretaker.
Later in life other people become important- family, friends, schoolmates, teachers, all people that our youngster chooses to attach attention to. And in school the kid learns to imitate the teacher- even if he/she is asked to develop her own reasoning- the independent reasoning is allowed in a framework constituted by culture and customs.
The more the growing child discovers society, the more he/she decodes the important inherent messages that are vitally important for him/her to be part of or at least to interact with society. Questions of rank are dealt with: Who is considered important, by whom and why? What are the contradictions concerning society in what is said to be as compared to reality? (Whoever talked to a child above 10 will notice that these subtle hidden distortions are a frequent subjet of observation and critique).
In Occidental societies it is also vital for the adolescent to answer the question: who am I? detached from answers that social, race or family belonging could give.
The mind deals with these questions through observation, evaluation (often conditioned by the values acquired through imitation in younger ears) and choice. Choices, especially in teenage years, tend to be black and white. I am this and I aint that.
How many careers have been shaped by an admired teacher or by a convincing role-model!
That leads to a specific behavior: Imitation of those who represent what I am (or what I aspire to be) and differentiation from those who represent what I am not. Groups are chosen, give clear, visible or hidden signs of clanship and thus shape the identity of their members. With the choice of group comes the attitude towards society. Even groups that 'refuse' mainstream trends have strong clanic identification codes.
Interestingly, the values and attitudes that come with these groups aren't static. They are usually influenced by group-leaders and who becomes a leader represents an ideal archetypal representative of what the group stands for and its values. But this only works as long as the individuals in the group are projecting their individual need for self-esteem on a leader. If the individual is given a proposal that seems more attractive to his need of self esteem change can be quite sudden. Societies that have lost a war adapted to the winner's culture quite fast, underdeveloped countries tend to adopt external signs of value of developed countries.

But human species has an inbuilt capacity to integrate learning and change. When an individual becomes aware of conditioning, of his own unwanted limitations or of the hidden unwanted limitations of society, he/she tends to rebel against this frame. If he/she can attract a sufficient amount of imitators that agree with these ideas the group will form a clan with its own values, rituals and external signs. Gradually,if this group is sufficiently important, its specificities will influence mainstream with the help of leaders of mainstream opinion( people, publicity etc.) who are always on the look out for new element to profile themselves (the human attention is only given to new as opposed to usual- hence the need for constant renewal). Of course this taking over can also happen in a negative way, in refusing the specificities in order to limit mainstream from the influence, especially if the group is judged to be too dangerous (understand: threatening values and customs of mainstream too fast, or challenging the social order of mainstream society)
Which way influence will take depends largely on the capacity of the group to be aware of their own conditioning. That takes information and a lot of courage, since peer pressure will always go in direction of the established opinions of the group.

this is a man's world ( and it's going right down the drain..)

2010-08-12T12:41:00.003+02:00

Few people doubt that we are facing a major shift in society- a quantum jump or so to say. Everybody feel that things can’t really go on like they do but somehow there doesn’t seem to be a clue how to jump. Too much at stake and not enough instability jet. So we seem to fall what in Spiral Dynamics (http://www.spiraldynamics.com/book/LESMsmry.html) is described as a Meme trap- frantically doing more of the same to dig our hole deeper instead of jumping.

There are whole fringes of population who have so far surfed on the waves of doom who perfectly know that the times of abundance won’t be forever but: Hey, while we’re at it lets surf on the edge and take what we can. Investors and financial experts who should have learned a substantial lesson are back to business as usual and sometimes make you wonder if they really believe in what they say or are just hoping that it will transform into self fulfilling prophesies by way of spreading the word.

One thing that isn’t integrated into spiral dynamics ( no wonder because it wasn’t the meme of the time- Graves did his theory in 1946, and science hadn’t come up with the discovery of neuroscience and hormonal biology) is the subtle interaction of feminine and masculine memes.

What are masculine and feminine memes? Mainly stereotypes of behavior and thinking often triggered by hormones and enhanced by circumstances of culture of the two complementary parts of the higher forms of life- males and females.

The idea of a male is of a fighter, aggressive and astute( physically or verbally), assertive, who will conquer and defend his territory and his social position. From a caveman’s point of view this made evolutionary sense: in order to survive you had to defend your horde against other tribes and compete for the chance to reproduce . Nature favored their analytical skills, strength and expert intelligence, that is the capacity to learn from past experiences. The hormone favouring such behavior and present in larger quantities in males is testosterone

The idea of a female is that of reproduction/ creation ( beauty being closely linked to fertility) and of care and of culture/ social nets. In the stone age, fertility, health and care for the newborn as well as social cohesion were essential for the survival of the horde. Nature favored empathy, feelings driven and intuitive intelligence, that is the capacity to decode signs in an unconscious automatized way. The hormone favouring bonding and empathy and present in greater quantities in females is Oxytocin.

The stone age is a long way off our times and in between there have been changes of memes in history. With agriculture it seems that female memes became more important, cities tended to more male memes of hierarchy .

Christianism established a dominancy of male memes in Christian societies which was mainly not due to its origins but to its instrumentalisation and interpretation in the early centuries .

The dominant meme of the last century is that of mercantilism- money rules the world. The idea of trade and exchange in itself seems rather a female meme because it is based on social contacts. The idea of the conquest of markets, of the competition for profit on the contrary definitely belongs to the masculine memes. We can even ask if mercantile aggressivity and business success aren’t a substitute for the need for war in order to conquer, secure territories and supply and to clarify hierarchy. ( Or in a more cynical way: if commercial wars didn’t add a modern variety to the age old game of war).

Through commerce and communication these values of economic and individual success, of gaining markets and self esteem have spread throughout the world and its attributes of success are commonly accepted and valued as such even in cultures that officially condemn its originators.

In line with the increasing virtuality of communication the conquest of markets and new territories has become a game that isn’t won not in the production halls of companies all over the world but on the virtual floors of financial markets. Where in former times the expected future profit and the part of profit that was given to shareholders ruled the prices at the financial markets, theses are today more and more influenced by probabilities of price rises or falls and bets on these. And that is the trap of the meme of our time. In a world dominated by male memes, decision makers dig their own holes in reinforcing the male side .

Back to Spiral dynamics: More of the same digs a hole and makes the system unable to do the necessary quantum leap- ie do things radically different. When we observe financial markets- which have become the backbone of our society- we notice that decisions are made on more and more complex mathematical models ( which apart from their inventors most specialists don’t understand) based on complicated calculations of probabilities and extrapolation of past experiences. Except that in the end all decisions are based on humans and behavioral science teaches us some new insights:

1. After the fall we distinctly remember that ‘we knew it all along’- memory is proven to cheat on us to give us the impression that we can master hazard

2. The more complex a system is the more elements in it carry small risks. The sum of a multitude of small risks isn’t a small risk.

3. Humans tend to use up the capital of increased safety, when risks are reduced in taking up more risks ( Taxidrivers with ABS brake systems drove more dangerously, consuming the increased safety)

Translated into the financial system this means that any complex combination can carry a systemic risk that can crush the whole construction. Any attempt to secure the system will lead to increased recklessness that will consume the advantage. People, especially those who are convinced by their own intelligence will carry own in believing that they can forsee and master pending doom.

I’m not even mentioning the fact that complexity and innovation continuously recombined possibilities in this world into new situations that cannot be compared to former ones- extrapolating for entirely new circumstances isn’t only of no avail but a system that is based on extrapolating will only look out for known clues and discard those it considers of being without any importance. Which is a typical problem of hierarchies.

If the usual male-meme procedure of analysis and planning how to get from point A to point B based on expert intelligence is obsolete what is there as alternative? What can enable us to make the necessary quantum leap?

Xanga

2009-04-11T11:29:00.001+02:00

somehow I ruefully came back to Xanga- must be the lazyness....
http://maya2in1.xanga.com/

Prehistoric Visions

2008-01-05T20:57:00.000+01:00

In the morning twilight between sleep and awakening on the first day of the year this thought shaped in my mind and raced through its neurones as a certainty:

The prehistoric move from hunter to farmer was spiritual and linked to the mystery of the female.

A woman menstruates and can give birth, the physical relation being occult to the caveman he finds a magical explanation:

The earth gives birth, life in shape of little insects and larger animals crawls in its inside and a 'dead' heap of turf can give life to worms... Mother earth therefore is the power of creation and linked in a mystical way to the woman, herself able to create life. The link between both is the menstrual blood. Blood that carries the essence of life. The monthly shed blood is given to the earth as a bond. The woman gives her blood as natural sacrifice from the dark internal cavern from which life comes forth into the light and that in a rhythm linked to the light of the moon. She doesn't do it voluntarily it happens to her, the magic happens and is larger than her- divine. Through this sacrifice she acquires from the earth the boon to give life. ( proof is that without this sacrifice she doesn't conceive and when she has conceived the sacrifice is suspended because the power of the blood is now in her). woman is keeper of this power, she is priestess of creation of the endless cycle of life and resurrection of life.

Man doesn't have this force in him, his means of serving the Mother Earth are different. Either he imitates the menstrual blood ( see Aboriginals' men's rituals ), or he sacrifices himself so that his blood and body can feed creation and make it grow. ( see my blog entry on ritual sacrifice of the leader in prehistoric times) Maybe he sacrifices a part of his body to acquire magical power ( pictures of mutilated hands in prehistoric caverns).

But man has another magic, the magic of the hunt. The link between him and his victim. In prehistoric times any killing created a bond in between the slayer and his victim with certain obligations to the slayer so as to not disturb the creational and resurrectional cycle of life. Man can offer through this magical link not his own blood but that of the animal he slays. And there is an animal that is synonymous for virile forces, muscles, strength, impetuous, armed with horns, and in communion with the earth since it feeds on its fruits- the bull.

There are numerous engravings left from prehistoric times showing the slaying of a bull with a moon (= equivalent to the menstrual blood), by a lion or a man ( the lion being an eater of flesh represents the slayer) through a ritual knife and out of his wound grows a plant.

Was the menstrual blood and the bull blood necessary to make plants grow? Did it enhance the growth of plants through the contained minerals and thus created the myth that the mystery of creation of Mother Earth could be mastered if only there was sufficient 'fertilizer ' in shape of bodies or blood ? Does the plant thus become sacred, spiritual food or sacred grain that can be sown by those who came to seek it at the sanctuary? Was the beginning of agriculture the adoption of a rite?

Neo Poppers

2007-10-27T17:59:00.001+02:00

During the boring eighties when economy slowed down there developed a new youth segment in Germany as answer to the nihilist punks: the popper.

The popper was everything the punk wasn’t: clean, shaved, with neither too long nor too short hair (actually the favorite male popper haircut looked pretty much like the favored style of the Hitlerjugend), addicted to conservative luxury and brand cloth, apolitical, listening to mainstream pop-music; in short a popper looked and breathed the middle-upperclass kid. Poppers were the nightmare of the family budget, due to the kid’s demand on brands and a red flag in the eye of any political leftist group.

The segment dissolved into mainstream before long. Recently I feel there is a revival in Western society which is quite surprising. I don’t know if there is a new term for the phenomena, I’ll call it Neo Popper.

The Neo Popper is young, beautiful and rich. And he loves it- more so, it becomes his reason for living.

Being rich in former times in Western societies was frowned upon by Christianism. In Catholic dogma the poor was nearer to the kingdom of God and in Protestantism you could be rich out of merit but you were not supposed to boast about it or to expose it too much.

I know of noble families where estates and servants were kept but rest of candle-wax collected out of chandeliers and molten into new candles- not because out of financial need but because of the sin of waste. And I’ve seen several specimen of old European noblesse walk around in cloth patched and torn that even a beggar would refuse, again a sign of horror to waste. French bourgeoisie traditionally walks around in excellent brand cloth, but they are worn long beyond their fashionable life, as a matter of fact they often are chosen because beyond fashion. New things were frowned upon- they looked suspiciously nouveau riche. And nouveau riche meant you had no culture and that you would be ignored by the establishment ( see Molière’s bourgeois gentilhomme on that)

Until the Neo popper. The Neo popper is luxury advertising come alive. Imagine somebody jumping out of an advertising for Vuitton or Chanel , trying to live every second of his life as if he/she were a living example of publicity dreams come true. It is almost as if the luxury industry had invented this clientele to keep their market alive.

Maybe some people who dispose of lots of money have always looked down upon the less fortunate, but this time the sole reason to despise the less rich is money. To have or not to have banknotes is a sign of distinction for the Neo Popper- an important sign. My daughter recently showed me a blog whose owner is obsessed with the quantity of luxury goods he buys or with the money he is offered as pocket money. It is interesting that this guy needs to constantly rub it into his readers as far as photographing the produce or the money he is talking about and questioning constantly- do you have the same? Apparently the Neo Popper is a kind of Vampire- for his existence he doesn’t need blood but envy.

A bestseller out is called ‘Hell’ and tells the story of a Neo Popper: luxury as only value, no limits- apparently a life as living advertisement can be hell.

Fault of the parents or mirror of society? The popper syndrome in former times revealed aspirations of belonging – it was predominant in social spheres that dreamt of ascension the youth of the middle classes and in upper-middle classes from developing countries. Parents that supported the exterior signs of belonging secretly hoped that it would lead to a better standing of their offspring. Contrary to the criminal ghetto youth scene that tries to cover their inferiority complex by flashy or sportswear luxury brands, the Neo Popper rather uses consumption as statement: I consume luxury therefore I’m special and rare.

Today the youth harboring neo popper attitudes seem to be more cynical and very aware of their privileged position. In a world of constant change where nothing stays the same and the admired of today are blamed tomorrow the Neo Popper needs to hold on to the illusion that he will always be on the winning side, because he possesses what apparently is the ultimate value- money.

in memoriam

2007-06-28T20:07:00.000+02:00

Tuesday evening died

Michel Kipoke,

who has sacrificed all of his free time ( and I sincerely hope that it doesn't turn out that he sacrificed his life for the cause) to peace in the Great Lakes region for Initiative of Change. May his soul rest in peace and may his memory be honored forever in the countries he worked for. He was a true example of servant leadership.

In case his passing away doesn't have natural causes

I curse anyone who has decided or has been involved in getting him out of the way.

May your subconscious nag on your intestines, let your heart root, may disease make you suffer the same fate. May you die like king Midas, covered with gold you gained out of the wars of others, but unable to feed yourself with the food of mankind.

You who stand in the way of a lord of peace, who wickedly uses poison, who is an arrogant lord of war shall have to answer to the Lord in his darkest hour. And this darkest hour will come, all the gold of the world will not be sufficient to keep man's fate from you. Then you shall face the truth of your mean and petty soul and recoil in horror.

Generations

2007-05-29T14:12:00.000+02:00

After you've finished worrying about yourself it's time to worry about the future of your kids and your parents.

individual and collective myths

2007-05-09T20:05:00.000+02:00

We are all great story tellers.
Most of the time, though we don’t use our talent to the benefit of our environment but we use it upon ourselves. We are our own fascinated listener.
Mostly our own private stories deal with the past and our implication in it.

We tend to transform the truth a bit so that we can keep up our self-esteem as shining hero. Anything going wrong tends very much to be the fault of bad circumstance or of incapable and incomprehensive people.

If we have a low self esteem we tend more to go for the: 'oh no! I did it again- that is the proof for my incapacity' storyboard.

Our own private story gets stored away in our conscious memory- the truth often is buried in the meanders of our unconscious. We use our story to keep up our persona, to communicate about ourselves. The more time goes by, the more we tend to believe our own story and slowly it will become part of our own private myth- the myth of our existence.
In that way we adapt our memory contents to the archetypical context of our subconscious. Hence the unconscious ‘recognition’ of archetypical fairy tales and myths that has been put forward by Bruno Bettelheim.

The construction of myth functions on individual level as well as on collective.
In that case the myth is the glue that keeps a community together, that explains its reason of being, its origins and its beliefs.
What comes to your mind when you think of your parents? Your grandparents? Your children? Your wider family? Stories! Stories about problems, stories about events, stories about experiencing together. Those family stories create the family over generations- some can date back hundreds of years.
In my family it’s the ancestor that created a foundation for fun during studies for his descendance; the great aunt who resembled a Madonna in a polish church, who was probably painted with a lost ancestor as model; my grandfather who would saw the branches of the Christmas tree only to fix them again in a more orderly way- the more those stories go back in time the more fantastic they become. The more recent stories deal with more common events- I and my brother remember a confrontation of our usually so calm father with an American hotel owner or the capacity of my mom to always chose the worst plate in a restaurant.

It is those stories that will keep the memory of the clan alive, that will transcend generations- that will represent the family myth.

Lucky the company who has a real foundation myth- like Apple or Tata. The whole style of management and identity of the company is built on that foundation myth.

The historic truth becomes less and less important as years go by- historic accuracy is more and more exchanged for symbolic content that serves as foundation for belief.

Myths serve as basis and carrier of collective conscience. A myth can even do something even more fascinating- it can transmit special powers to people or places. The knowledge of the myth then charges the collective belief in such a way that the power of belief transfers a sacred identity unto people or places.

During my travels in Israel I encountered many places that were attached to a foundation myth. In the end, it wasn’t important if the mythic event really took place at the same spot- the power of the believers charged a place like a battery with sacred energy that can be experienced.

A sacred space is a space where the rules of reality ( or let’s say of the world out there) don’t apply. It has its own rules, its own magic- In a sacred space windows open to our unconscious. That is why any problem of sacred space is so difficult to treat with logic and realistic means. Rational thinkers suddenly become deaf to the voice of reason in such a place- if they are believers.
A sacred space needs constantly to be kept alive by believers- take away those who trust in its powers and it is just another piece of land. What would Lourdes be without the hoards of ill believers that come to the cave to seek healing?

A sacred space needs a founding myth and a keeper or keepers that will keep the myth alive for the existing or potential believers.
And somehow everybody is a believer, even if it is in the almighty power of the market or of technology, and as such we all create our sacred spaces.

Intercultural learning

2007-02-25T12:07:00.000+01:00

Being member of the SIETAR –Society for Intercultural education training and research- I attended a conference of Margalit Cohen-Emerique on dangers for identity and self-shock

Margalit develops the intercultural encounter problem not from an cross-cultural point of view but from the general perspective of encounter with the Other.
In her theory the more the other’s behavior surprises, offends or challenges us the more we feel that our own identity is in danger ( unity, continuity, coherence and value) and we tend to have a defence reaction . With this reaction we even become in response a danger to the identity of the Other.
Margalit has observed social workers who work with people from different cultural contexts and rather than focusing on explaining why the culturally different group behaved that way she concentrated on the effect the behavior had in the social worker and what resources he/she could mobilize to face the situation. In that sense her model corresponds to the psychological need of the social worker as being taken serious in his reaction and emotion and it studies what is there and available ( the emotional reaction of the social worker). At the same time it is adaptable to more situations than just the cross- cultural ones and doesn’t need previous knowledge or predictability of possible situations.

Sounds complicated, but actually during the whole Saturday Margalit made her fascinating theory very clear and understandable. I wasn’t bored for a second and my mind raced ahead in making all kinds of associations with my current work. At the same time I realized that although I have a good instinct my theoretical basis on the subject is too thin and I'd be well advised to do some groundwork.
As a plus I got to know a lot of interesting people- I think I’ll have to sign up for more conferences of SIETAR.

Thoughts about the brain

2007-02-23T14:27:00.000+01:00

Neuroscience has discovered that what makes our personality and behavior is dependant on an inner chemical laboratory:
serotonin for harm avoidance, dopamine as regulator for novelty seeking, norepinephrine controlling our reward dependance, oxytocin as social contact regulator, endorphin managing pleasure...
That makes human thought dependant on stimuli ( electrical) or chemistry. In other words we are much less free than we think. If I can make you feel sad enough to almost commit suicide by stimulating a specific part of your brain, where does your own self come in? Or to spin the thought further- if all of our thoughts are electricity and chemicals what are we without our body?
On the other hand if the chemicals control the way we feel and think, there is also a way to control the chemicals. You can calm down in taking a deep breath ( and lower your adrenaline high) - what brought you to the decision to calm down?- there was a choice: you could have become more excited! Was there more or less serotonin involved in making a choice? Or to spin this thought further: is there first an impulse thought - or is there first a chemical? ( the old hen and egg question)
On more complex levels- thought can make you sick - or it can cure you or help in the cure- which means that the mental chemistry and the chemistry of the rest of the body are closely linked. Who has the final power over whom?
All the neuroscientifical research explains about conscious behavior and its deviation reasons- what about our subconscious? Since we don't really know what is in there how can we know by what it is controlled?
And where does patterning come in? Our bodies and minds are constructed not on detailed static chains for actions but on patterns that can be adapted to contents of situations. Patterns are repeated from the simple to the complex. ( ex. the learning mechanism of a child uses the pattern of 'copying' of cell- growth) Are the chemicals the 'patterns' of our brain?
What is the role of hazard in this chemical laboratory? Is hazard our freedom of choice chemically speaking? ( a molecule was walking by by accident and fitted into the receptor?)

the paradox of success

2007-02-07T12:54:00.000+01:00

If you want to be a performer today you must:

in the world of reality

- be flexible - but act right

- change strategy- but be successful

in your mind:

- question your beliefs- but keep your roots

- think holistic- but know who you are

but most of all-

be as sensitive to stress and emotion as a log.

Thoughts, talk and the written word

2007-01-25T14:03:00.001+01:00

Our own personal reality reflects and influences our thoughts. There is continuous flow in between the sensory information we get from our body and our environment and the processing of this information.
Like I mentioned in my last blog, we perceive not all in the same way, we interpret according to our learning experience, we evaluate the consequences and act upon the result and our memory stores the information.
According to our personality we will prefer to ponder on consequences and actions ourselves or we will refer to outside sources to check upon consequences and actions- we prefer to have the reactions and advices of others.
I like to keep things for myself, or I like to share a problem. That means that our inner thoughts and emotions either turn in our heads or are voiced out.

Thoughts and speak will then be fixed in the memory- or will they?
Try to remember the last for you important talk you have had with somebody. You will probably be able to recall your principal arguments about what was important and the general reaction of the other side… but do you remember every word? Maybe there were important parts that you didn’t notice as important and therefore didn’t store in your memory.
But today, there are other parts that have grown in importance and suddenly you remember those much more clearly than the rest that has been said.
Did you ever have somebody being mad at you for something you supposedly said and you don’t have a clue what he is talking about? Obviously it wasn’t important to you but it touched a sensitive point in the other and its importance grew in time and now that is about the only thing he remembers.
Family feuds and important conflicts can be constructed on selective and transformative memories that are solidified in the shape of a myth- in the end nobody knows the real story anymore.

The same thing happens when we ponder in thought, the more days go by, the more our memory about past reflections transforms: certain aspects are enhanced, others are diminished. Small events are being blown up according to what fits into our actual state of mind.
If I am convinced that my colleague is stupid I will clearly remember all his mistakes and when he made a fool of himself, but somehow the events where he helped me on a file or where he had a vital information to give are reduced to minor hazard in y memory.

Speech and thought are therefore unreliable sources for generating accurate memories- that is why some cultures prefer the written word. But even writing doesn’t protect from misinterpretation in later times. According to our environment we tend to interpret a text.
A word can have a different meaning in different contexts and cultures. The right definition of words is one of the obsessions of law.
A lot of sacred texts are today understood like a news report- as relating facts. At the time they were written, symbols were important, not facts. We live in a world based on facts so we will look our and interpret information as facts.

Still, concerning our own life-span and culture the written word seems to be quite reliable as source of memory about history. Historians basically work with written or recorded material.

We can use this reliability of writing for ourselves. Instead of brooding on our evaluations of informations, actions to take and on our emotions, we can write them down. When we write them down, we can look at them- today, tomorrow, in a month. Our attitude may have changed then, but our mind can’t cheat us: that is what we thought. An outside memory of our inner states of mind.

Perceptions are my reality

2007-01-22T10:05:00.001+01:00

It is easy to see things in a detached manner if you’re not concerned or if you have the necessary distance.

It is more easy for the hermit on the hill to practice detachment than for the consultant. It is easier for the consultant to have the necessary distance because he is less concerned.

One colleague of mine almost broke out in tears at a training session when he said what he appreciated most about his present life and his job was that he didn’t carry that immense burden of result anymore.

Even if you’re a stable person, in harmony with yourself, arriving at the office Monday morning smiling and happy, 5 minutes later this smile will be non existent and the demon of reality will take over when you learn of the incredible mess lets say a production has made contrary to your detailed instructions.

Reality is what matters around us in our lives, what we feel has an impact. It can be the acts of others ( in positive or negative sense) it can be the weather ( when you forgot to take an umbrella), it can be your own body ( that lump in your stomach).
The most important element is that we believe it to be real and what we believe to have an impact on our life and thinking.

A fool often is just somebody whose reality seems unbelievable to others. ( in the movie North Northwest by Hitchcock even the mother of the hero doesn’t believe his story- this is an important element in a lot of psycho thrillers)

Observation is checked by our own mind according to probability and own experience. Real for us is what we believe to be real. Reality is what we know out of our own experience to be important and relevant for us.
A social worker probably has trouble understanding the importance of flexibility of working hours, which for any production manager is an important reality. A production manager on the contrary will have somehow trouble understanding the importance of a worker being present at a school meeting of his child. ( Unless, being a father, he relates to the problem out of his own experience) A common problem in between husband and wife is the difference of realities of their worlds. The more their realities differ, the less they will be able to understand each others concerns.

In a schizophrenic’s or paranoid’s reality persecution will often play a huge role. For such an individual there is plenty of evidence of this fact in the act and the deeds of the people around him.
While I was shopping in a big department store I once had the lady who was walking in front of me swirling around and yelling at me to stop persecuting her. My defence that I just happened to be there on my own errand didn’t make the ‘persecution’ she had observed ( I had accidentally taken the same staircase and moved to the same floor as she) less real. She just had a different interpretation of my intentions in her reality.
The same way we tend to interpret what is happening in the world around us according to our reality. Most of the time, we manage to understand the reality of the other sufficiently to act coherently and in accordance of what the society around us expects. The more the reality of the other resembles our own, the better we will be at this. .

Reality ultimately is what we trust to be true. How can I trust what somebody tells me? In evaluating the probability that his words are true according to my own experience and what I have heard from reliable sources. During the Nazi regime there were lots of rumours of what happened to the Jews but most Germans ( including a lot of German Jews ) wouldn’t believe the tales as they seemed too horrid to be real. When our imagination and capacity to relate to our own reality fails, even the ‘proof’ leaves us strangely aloof.
A massacre in Rwanda left Westerners less touched than the attack on the twin towers.

If a fact comes to our notice of which we cannot evaluate the validity for our reality we will rely on information surrounding the fact: is the source relevant for my reality in my experience? Is an authority that I consider important in my reality giving me the assurance that this fact is important in my reality?
Would you rather believe these ideas to be a valid approach if, lets say, Steven Covey expressed a positive opinion on it? Then your reality reflects that Steven Covey’s ideas are valid for yourself and mine might be equally valid for your reality.

Those inner procedures of our mind don’t validate the absolute truth of reality. They just validate the relative truth for us.
A fact we too readily tend to forget.

2007-01-18T16:42:00.000+01:00

The spirit of Kanyakumari

Perfection

2007-01-12T09:44:00.001+01:00

Perfection
We don’t admit it or are aware of it, but one of our goals in life is perfection.

Perfection in our looks, our happiness, our career, our house, our friends….

Our communication is oriented towards communicating this perfection: in job interviews, with friends, family, potential lovers- look I’m great, I’m special, my life is gorgeous.

Advertising does its best to convince us that perfection is out there: photoshop has enhanced the capacity to glamorize models: elongate legs, enlarge eyes, blow up upper body parts and reduce the midline, and everybody is smiling in bliss or looking very cool.
Characters in any soap opera seem to have an exciting life, full of events, emotions and drama.

Even if we try very very hard to make believe, somehow our life doesn’t seem to come up to the standard of perfection that is suggested to us.
We start to see the flaws- overweight, tiny bust-line, no muscles, no energy, no exciting friends, no events- life seems dull.

As hard as we try, somehow something always seems to keep us from our perfect image, the way we want to be. And any event leaves a bad taste- there is always something wrong to it that keeps us from enjoying it fully.

What is perfection? Somehow it seems linked to purity, something that is ideal and not spoilt but flawless.

Perfection is a mental ideal we have constructed , and this mental ideal changes according to our culture and according to time.
Nature seems to have a different law of perfection. In nature nothing is pure : that is one of the laws of life.

A fish in H2O, pure water,will die.

Although one of the laws of life is symmetry, you will not find perfect symmetry in nature:
Neither in a leaf, nor in a human face, nor even in a snowflake.
A cut diamond is a tiny fraction of a raw diamond which had lots of faults. Purity exists next to imperfection.

Rather , in nature perfection expresses through harmony, through a certain equilibrium in the circles of life.

Harmony and equilibrium are laws of nature we tend to forget.

Instead of looking for lacking perfection, try to look for the harmony of imperfection

- those flaws that make us human,
- the dirt that contrasts a clean spot ,
- the noise that enhances the moment of silence,
- the wrinkles that make a smile eternal.

Coming back from my travel to India I can see how much harmony and beauty surrounds me of which I don’t tend to be aware, maybe that is why I adore India-
an image of imperfect eternal beauty.

My reality

2007-01-08T14:50:00.000+01:00

Since 24 hours I’m back in Europe. Back in the western reality.
The change silences the voice- the extrovert as well as the introvert. I feel holistically mute- and just my eyes move and observe- register.

As any person confronted with difference my mind seems confused- what is real? And that is not only an after effect from changing the geographical scenery.
It is a typical frequent travellers disease- you change the scenery but you take your reality with you.

At home I don’t tend to notice that my reality isn’t the same as that of my neighbours. Of course I find that some of my friends overreact concerning some situations, but I put it of as part of personality.

The problem arises when my reality collides with that of others. That usually happens when situations or way of life differs. The more difference, the harder the collusion.

Who hasn’t been annoyed with good friends who suddenly turn boring after becoming parents or after marrying? On the other hand, some all time bachelors seem to become increasingly weird with age. The home maker seems to lack understanding of some of the realities of life and the friend who started to work is suddenly much less adventurous.

What happens if my reality is extraordinary, exotic and an adventure and collides with that of routine and everyday life and worries of others? They don’t get my passion; I don’t get their lack of time.

In another life of mine I used to room in with Peter, a flight attendant. Our greatest fight were about our reality mergers: Peter didn’t want exotic food at home; he didn’t want to go to a restaurant- all of that was working routine for him. On the other side, having a few days off in the middle of the week after a long trip, Peter just didn’t understand why all of his friends weren’t queuing up to see him- he was all available and ready to meet them. He never seemed to understand that our life continued in his absence and we couldn’t just stop it for him, once he was there.

My reality seems over important to me, so much that I often don’t see the reality of the other, or that I have to constantly remind me of the difference. I get frustrated if others fail to understand my world- my emotions don’t allow for different realities- they want to world to be just mine.

Thanks to all who came and merged their reality with mine for an instant in those recent weeks- through you I learn constantly about myself.

dreams of rules

2006-12-07T09:14:00.000+01:00

This is part of what I dreamt about tonight:

Where two or more people work together the most important in being efficient in a relaxed atmosphere are rules. Rules invented by the community, rules obeyed and transgression exposed and discouraged.
You think I’m talking of Orwell’s 1984 big brother? Not at all- I’m talking about the subtle arrangements we all make, sometimes without talking.
Some are due to education, dome are due to unwritten local rules that separate the insider from the outsider.
Take for example a company dress code: it is rarely written anywhere, but if you transgress it, you’ll feel it. The who talks to whom about what- if you don’t know those rules you get yourself quickly into trouble. Is it absolutely clear to you who makes what decision in your company?

Those can be dictated rules- if you are new to the system, you are kindly asked to comply in order to be one of the crowd. Some people are rebellious- either they get into trouble sooner or later, or they have the gift of being able to subtly change the existing rules.

Rules work best where everybody’s opinion is taken into account. A leader taking on a new group of people is well advised to work out the rules of that group with its members instead of dictating them.
Only when it is clear and agreed with everybody what is expected of each person and what is the process of decision, when the leader controls his troops but covers them also, when conditions are fair and unfairness discussed and treated well-being of the individual AND productivity reach its peak.

Unfortunately, a lot of leaders lack self confidence and thus need the continuous proof of power over their subordinates to make them feel important. They will tend to be vague about decision processes, responsibilities and rules. Usually the rule:’ the boss is right’ will then replace common rules. The vagueness enables this leader to shift blames and to reward the courtesans. Management is conducted by fear , for this manager is convinced that work is only done through pressure and employees often leave if they get any chance to do so.

A management position is not only a position of power over other people but a position of responsibility for their evolution and well-being.

Myth

2006-12-02T16:01:00.000+01:00

Î was witness at the marriage of my best friend. She got married for the second time to the same man ( I'll spare you the details).

Listening to the speeches of the major and afterwards the mother in law and having heard my friend innumerable times on the topic I started wondering about myths and how they are created ( for what I heard at the wedding was far from reality).

A myth is created when you single out elements of a story and leave out others so that it conforms to an archetypical story. If you work the myth well and with consistency, the myth will be remembered for generations- it can even end up in the history book. Most celebrities nowadays have professionals working on the creation of their myth.

Archetypical stories are a bit like fairy-tales: the washer that became a millionaire, the poor that had a special gift that was singled out, the guy who wins against all odds because he's true, the finally found real love.

Myths are written over time in looking back and the perspective then often goes beyond the life-cycle: looking back at the life of...., or ...happy ever after. Any continuation of life risks not to fall in the picture and thus destroy the whole myth. Like my aunt, condemned by cancer told me one month before she died- it is better to leave the scene, when everybody has good memories about you- meaning: when you have the chance to leave a myth behind.

But not only celebrities care about their myths, all of us do. Brain-science found that our memory of an event is rewritten entirely every time we think about it- we are continuously rewriting our own myths. If you don't believe me, listen to a family story of your grandmother and of your grand aunt- chances are that they have very different versions of the very same event- unless...... unless they regularly have rewritten the story together in the collective memory at every family gathering- do you remember when.....?

the silent symphony followed

2006-11-24T08:40:00.000+01:00

If my ultimate goal is to be in tune with the silent symphony of existence what can I do?

To vibrate in harmony I have to be in harmony.

The illusion weaves a net of perceptions that throws me off balance all too often.
I feel ignored, I feel incompetent, I feel disliked and I act accordingly.

Disharmony in me engenders distortion of tune.
The seed of disharmony was given to me at birth by giving me eyes to see, ears to hear , touch to feel, a tongue to taste, a nose to smell and a mind to process those sensations.

I cannot make it disappear lest deny being human.

All I can do is see my actions

All I can do is grow

All I can do is discipline my ego

Not to conform to the web of illusion, but to conform to the silent symphony

The overflow has to be channeled

The little has to be tended to grow more

The whole has to find focus to anchor.
Accepting my limits doesn’t mean stop striving,
it means stopping to put myself down.

Accepting the limits of the world around
means developing compassion

Accepting the tune means
not controlling the orchestra
but going with the melody
In humbly accepting the purpose
being beyond my ego.

the silent Symphony

2006-11-22T10:24:00.001+01:00

The world is illusion.

Yet it is not illusion in the shape of a soap-bubble, ready to burst at any moment.

Rather, there is a law to it that does not only emanate from one being but from the multitude of existence.

The totality of existence creates a cosmic dance.

In this dance there is harmony: rhythm and melody.
Each part has the inner desire to be in tune with this harmony.

Mankind has the tendency to vibrate without listening to the whole.
We too often what to be the director of the orchestra and thus we create a great distortion in the tune- like a wound-opening.

But the great symphony is such that it integrates the dissonance into the harmonies and they are but one.
In infinity, dissonance destroys itself.

What do you do to be in tune?

inner logic

2006-11-12T17:26:00.000+01:00

The functioning of the mind has fascinated mankind since there was an awareness of existence. In former times it was rather a matter for priests, magicians, oracles, doctors and sometimes exorcists ; since Freud there has been the psychologist .

The psychologist studies the ways of thinking while his counterpart, the neurologist, examines neuronal structure and chemistry of the brain that enable thinking processes. Recently psychologists are being discredited by neurologists with the claim that everything is biology and chemistry , that there is no human genius and disfunctioning is just bad chemical control.

Curiously, few look at it in a holistic way- if there is a chemical and biological function it is there for a reason. Aparent malfunction might also be there for a reason- maybe it isn't just some form of illness.

Let's take for example depression, one of the largest spread mental diseases. It touches people from all backgrounds, cultures, situations. It has little relation to external circumstance. And aparently it is not a new thing but has existed through the ages.

What if depression had a function ,a role?

Let's assume that there are different mental/spiritual phases in life to go through ( there is evidence that this is genetically pre-programmed). What happens if for some reason the individual doesn't move in his mind? What if depression was a means of the subconscious to force evolution upon the conscious?

Depression lowers certainities and beliefs, habits , attachments in such a way that there is only a way out if something new is shaped. In a way the inner 'hard disk' is erased to create new space. Depression could be a natural mechanis created to make us evolve.

Treating depression then is not a question of how to stop the disease by blocking mental chemistry, but how to accompany the process to be sure that it evolves without risk toward a new phase of life.

I wonder if there are other psychological processes that can be reconsidered.

My hairdresser saw me this week do a Sudoku. 'I've been doing those all the time for months!' she exclaimed-' today I don't do them anymore!'

That reminded me of the learning process of children discovered by Maria Montessori: Maria discovered that children if not forced to occupy with certain games will stick to the same thing until they have learned to master the task and then loose interest . In a Montessori school you can see for example a child that will do nothing than maths for months- and he will do it at home, in his free time, on the week end, on the loo- he doesn't let go.. and then, after a couple of months, he stops and turns to grammar for example.

Now is there a way to examine adult obsessions in the same way?

If you're hooked upon a video game, you can't close a book, you are up to an activity in a comulsive way- there might be something in it your brain considers worth spending time on, something to learn.

It would be an interesting question not to look at such a behaviour with suspicion ( because the obessed person isn't 'available' for other occupations) but ask what it is that is learnable, that the brain considers important, for which a need is felt. That would enable enhancing a possible learning process or understanding and helping if the addictive activity is exercised for a psychological reason.

Medicine is more and more convinced that illness has a link with the body and might be a non- verbal way of expression of suffering or a forcing of the mind by the body.

There might be more sense in psychological and biologic disfunctioning than we think.

jogger's delight

2006-11-07T16:47:00.000+01:00

Morning jogging with camera in hand.......

Human relations and hazard

2006-11-04T15:28:00.000+01:00

Let's face it- the more people are physically apart the more a real relationship needs some kind of planning and organization.
You run into the people next door all the time. You can decide to have a drink together or spend time together on a whim.
The same exists with virtual relationships: what a pleasure to meet a friend on messenger and to start a ramdom chat for a few minutes or longer, keeping you from work, but that is what human relationships are about...
Things get complicated when you want to make virtual and real ends meet- For suddenly real life limits become important: the time spent on transport, other obligations, work to do, ...
suddenly relationships become choices in between alternatives: see the close-by friends or travel to see the far-away. Choices can't be made anymore on a whim, encounters at that level aren't subject to accident anymore.
Those small continuous choices become a big choice of life- stay on local level for real life and leave the virtual level in the dreamsphere? or broaden the view and look out for the new in risking to loose spontaneity?

folkloric traditions

2006-11-01T15:39:00.000+01:00

Today is a Catholic Christian holiday : Toussaint- All Saints.

I asked my daughter if she has some idea about its meaning- she doesn’t.

Somehow, in between cultures, in the big cities far away from the dwellings of our ancestors, rites and customs somehow drivel into insignificance. Only the fact that it is a public holiday is a pale reminder of significance. Maybe our society lacks rites and customs that keep us grounded to our roots.

All Saints actually is a merger of pagan rites with Christian traditions. Originally a commemoration-day for martyrs of the Christian faith at the end of spring in Orient it was decreted by a pope as general holiday at the beginning of the V century and fixed as day of honour of all saints and Mary on the 13th of may . The date was suspiciously close to the Lemuria, consecrated in ancient Rome to the pagan tradition of honouring the ancestors.

Louis the faithful, a 9th century French king, changed the Toussaint for France to the 1st of November, as a counter measure to pagan rites during that time of the year. And 50 years later this date was adopted by the pope, again under French influence.That didn’t erase ancient traditions though and the pagan ancestor cult continued until the 10th century .

France then decided to integrate this tradition in instauring a special mass on the 2nd of November for ‘ all who died in Christ’. Nowadays the first of November is a public holiday because it is a commemoration day for those who died for the country in France.

The first of November also happens to be the beginning of the Celtic New Year- the Samain. During the first 7 days of November ritual feasts were organized – rites of the renaissance of the world to restore the foundations of cosmic order. The evening before all fires were extinguished, and the new period started with the lightening of new fires the next day.

The caste of warriors was at the centre of the celebrations because the consumption of consecrated food during this time was considered rendering invulnerable. The feasts in commemoration of the dead were an obligation and missing out on them considered bringing bad luck. The death were said to come to earth and had to be turned from a potential danger to the living into helpful forces for their descendance.

The Catholic relicts of this tradition is the visit to the cemeteries where family members are buried and the lightening of a flame on their grave. Less and less people keep up this tradition now, for a lot don’t live next to the graves of their family members anymore, but far away.

I wrote this to light a virtual flame in commemoration of:
Xavier de Lutzel, Oskar and Henriette Schneyder, Wolfgang Schneyder, Christoph Schneyder Karl and Else Schnelle, Paul and Resi Schnelle, Mariele Jahn, Magdalena, Liesel, Maria Schnelle, Michael Schnelle
and for all of my ancestors that I didn’t know but whose amazing stories are kept alive.

Indian administration

2006-10-30T15:41:00.000+01:00

Getting a visa to visit India has never been easy. Usually I would show up at the embassy at 7:30 am to wait for two hours until opening at 9:30 am, catch a number, wait for 1,5 h until my number got called, sweat fearing I could have forgotten something essential ( like the 50 € in cash ) deposit passport and papers, get a slip of paper to fetch my passport in two days...

Now....that is nothing compared to the actual chaos:

The demand can be downloaded on internet . The same website informed me that henceforth you are not allowed to deposit more than 3 passports per person ( we are four in our family!) and that per day not more than 75 individuals will be admitted; travel agencies are kindly requested to present with computerized data on wednesdays...
That already promised nothing good.

Two weeks ago I convinced my husband to go with me to the embassy. We were there in the morning at 7:30 h . The queue was about 100m long.......
After a short discussion we abandoned for it was obvious that there were more than 75 people in front of us, the first had arrived at 6 am ( my guess was more like 200 ).

I decided to try the travel agency. The travel agency called their visa messenger service. I was informed that the price would be 125 € per passport + 35 € for the messenger to carry it to the service...and that they only treat emergencies right now, please contact again around the 15th of november... Allright!

I convinced my son for a substantial amount of money ( appealed to his business sense) to get up at 4:30 am and to be present at 6 am in queue at the embassy. I joined him in queueing at 8:40 am. There were about 30 people in front of him and according to him the first had arrived at midnight. Behind him was about 200 m of queue.

Now disasters like that give way to all kinds of rumour trying to explain the actual situation which is getting desperate for the average tourist. Here are some explanations delivered by the people next to us in line:

a professionnal messenger: they installed a new software to treat what was done by hand before, it worked until they lost a passport deposited by a travel agency, now travel agency messengers have to queue like everybody and adaption to the new software is creating delays.

the messenger from the OECD ( yes-surprise they have to queue too): It's an act of revenge for there seem to be problems with the French embassy in India too. And he spiced his comment with stories of other embassies .

a tourist: nobody can explain,, travel agencies refuse to take on the task and turn their eyes to the ceiling if you talk about travel visa to India.

As the opening hour approached the situation was getting tense, the French being notorious queue cutters. They casually walk up to the front to have a 'look' at the queue. Then they start talking to the people in the queue, light a cigarette and the next thing you know is that they have merged with the crowd. People around me were getting nervous cause the count in front of us seemed to dangerously approach the fatal number. A handicaped guy kind of played the clown to gain his place in front while yelling loudly against : 'those who come in front and cut the queue'- which he did himself. Suddenly the gate opened! The crowd closed in and moved in block forward.
The door was only half opened to let people pass one by one while the queue had been at least about 3-4 people wide- suspense! We moved forward through the glass door to the reception desk where an officer handed out pink tickets.I got 413 ( why does 13 stick to me?) my son 414. I looked with reverence at the pink piece of paper- I had made it ! The count on the digital board started at 385. ...
Being a samaritan I accepted to pass the passport of the other of a girl that had come to late and was desperately looking for somebody whose count was below 3/per person. Again we spent about 1 h exchanging experiences with all kinds of various people.

When I finally deposited the passports the lady behind the counter filled out a 2 slip carbon copy- one white, one rose- I got 1 white slip to fetch 2 French passports, 1 white slip to fetch the German passport ( mine). My son got 2 rose slips to fetch 1 French passport per slip- don't ask about the logic behind but wish me luck for the retrieval!

The clash of civilizations' balance sheet

2006-10-27T16:09:00.000+02:00

An Australian Mufti says that uncovered women are 'meat', there is a big uproar in German papers about German soldiers in Afghanistan posing on pictures with sculls discovered during some construction work..just some more examples in the press on the clash of civilizations.

Open your mouth and it's not Big Brother but the International press that is watching you.
Anything you say or do can be used against you, so it better be politically correct. It seems that there are spies all over watching who will be the next tresspasser on the narrow road of moral righteousness.

Being politically correct and respecting cultural diversity up to this point risks negating one's own culture. As a result comments move to inner homogenous circles and borderlines are drawn by thoughts and omission. There are things you cannot say in front of the Other, one more reason not to associate.

Babylon

2006-10-27T08:40:00.000+02:00

Business idea for developpers:
create a software that automatically generates a pass for blogs and the like, a bit like a credit card you can use in any money machine.

Each time I have a computer problem I loose all my passwords and afterwards I try to figure out which one it is. I discover that I have an extraordinary amount of subscriptions that need passwords. Of course I try not to invent a new one every time but up to now I possess about 4 different passwords. Multiply that with my 6 mail- adresses ( I usually don't remember with what I've signed up) and the eventual case sensitivity concerning capital letters ( I don't remember if I started my password with a capital letter) and you nderstand my problem.

Working with systemic reflections in consulting I must say that this unfortunately reflects my mind: always following several options simultaneously and in all directions; forgetting some of the important bases because there are so many and I'm already on the next hint and getting angry at myself for the lack of organization and planning in my head.

Sigh!

Caux!

2006-07-13T17:55:00.000+02:00

I said I was just creating my blog to be able to comment- arriving at Caux I find that Mountain house has created their own blog... http://iseecaux.blogspot.com....

Voix

2006-07-12T19:16:00.000+02:00

Ce blog vient d'être crée pour me donner une voix pour commenter les blogs des autres...
Sinon visitez www.Xanga.com/maya2in1
Peut être un jour je migrerai.....